


Elias's Special Present

by TheRealAndian



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Pizza, none pizza left beef, shitty drabble, short and sweet, this is one of the dumber things i've written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23486542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealAndian/pseuds/TheRealAndian
Summary: Elias walks into his office not to a death traps, but to a strange box sitting on his desk.Or: Tim pranks Elias with a pizza.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 69





	Elias's Special Present

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EmboldenedBirdbrain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmboldenedBirdbrain/gifts).



> Idek, mate. I had a bit to drink and then my friend and I both came up with this stupidity lol.
> 
> Inspired by [this lovely post.](https://duskdragon39.tumblr.com/post/614500079716417536/littlestcorpse-pixie-mage-riningear)
> 
> Takes place sometime during S3, with some slight S4 spoilers.  
> Enjoy!

Elias was having a lovely day. His Archivist was off in America getting kidnapped by two Hunters and possibly a Stranger, the Archival assistants were all being paranoid and generally avoiding speaking to one another, and Ms. Tonner was politely doing his dirty work.

He smiled to himself, humming a little tune he'd learned from the factory men just before the first World War. No one knew it anymore, of course, but he liked to reminisce on all the things that had led to this point. After all, Jon only had a few more marks to go, and he would be perfect.

The door to his office was slightly ajar. Odd--he was sure he had locked it up as normal the night before. Judging by the scratches on the doorframe, though, he got the feeling that someone had stupidly decided to break into his office.

"Again?" he sighed, pushing the door open and stepping inside.

Everything seemed... _normal_. No death traps like the bucket of concrete above the door that Melanie had left him last week, no Rube Goldberg machines set up to light his desk on fire. Just... _nothing_.

Nothing, of course, except for the subtle pizza box lying on his desk.

He strode to the desk, moving some paperwork away from the simple cardboard. Who had done _this_? His first thought was that perhaps Martin had finally decided to play his cards, but there was no steaming cup of tea beside the box. Besides, Martin wasn't exactly one for this sort of thing. _He's not exactly the brightest,_ he thought with a chuckle.

But then- who had left him this pizza box? What did it symbolize?

He scrutinized it, Looking it up and down. The box seemed bizarrely normal enough. But what was inside-?

 _None pizza, left beef,_ the Eye told him.

He paused for a moment. " _What_?" he asked. Beholding had never led him wrong before in 200 years, but...what the hell did _that_ mean?

Slowly, he lifted the cover and peered in at the abomination before him.

_None pizza, left beef._

That made a lot more sense now, he decided.

He glanced around, sure that there must be a camera or a tape recorder or _something_. But no. He was simply left with his none pizza, left beef.

He picked up a piece of the meat and popped it into his mouth before dumping the entire creation onto the bin. "You're very funny, Tim," he muttered, shuffling a few papers. He still had scheduling to take care of, after all.


End file.
